Play #7 Life Is Gonna Give Ya The Bird . . . Now What???

About a year ago, I’m minding my own business at a team dinner when the waiter comes over to me, gives me a Shirley Temple and tells me its compliments of this guy I know. To add insult to injury, he tells me that the gentleman also wanted me to have this and he proceeds to give me the finger!

I feel the need to mention that where I come from (New York) you are legally obligated to return fire when given the bird. Needless to say a Shirley Temple just doesn’t look right on Castain’s table but I digress.

I believe there is a lesson in it should we choose to take it . . .

As we begin 2009, we too will go to the table of life, with good spirit and good intentions. We begin with high hopes, a fresh table setting and somehow, somewhere they are only going to be serving “Bird De Jour”. Most of us can stomach a bird or two, but once we get enough of them, we begin to question ourselves in ineffective ways such as:

· Can I do what I set out to do?
· Why does this always happen to me?
· Do I deserve the success I seek?

The funny thing about the brain is that it gives us what we ask of it!

Perhaps we should consider asking ourselves some different questions in 2009 when the bird arrives compliments of the chef:

What can I learn from this situation?
What’s funny about it? What could be funny about it if your answer is “Nothing!” J
What can I do, right now, to move myself closer to my goals?
Who else has gone through this challenge that I can model?
Where can I get information, counsel, coaching, mentoring so I can serve back a “bird” of my own?

Exercise: Next time you are in a situation that challenges you, consider asking yourself the ultimate brainstorming question:

In what ways can I (fill in the blank)

So if I’m getting too many birds prospecting my brainstorming question will be:

In what ways can I be more effective on the phone?

If I’m struggling with that weight I want to lose this year:

In what ways can I can on track with my weight loss program?

Note: The "In what ways can I" question is a great question for you to use in your next meeting if you want to brainstorm the heck out of something!

The point of this sermon is for us to stop acting so surprised when the undesired outcome shows up. As a matter of fact, I’ve learned to get very excited when I begin to get frustrated. Yes, you heard me correctly . . . EXCITED! I get excited because I know that I am going to find an answer, change something and get closer to cracking the code. You see, when I’m nice and comfy and life gives me what I want, I get complacent and might not look as hard as I should for answers.

Sound familiar?

Today’s Reflection: Anticipate speed bumps on your road to success. Don’t get frustrated . . . get excited. Ask yourself a different question so you get an education in what not to do!

Success in life is the result of good judgment. Good judgment is the result of experience. Experience is usually the result of bad judgment.
Tony Robbins

So what are you waiting for?

By all means, continue to show up at the table of life with good intentions. Continue to believe this will be your best year ever. Just understand that you can have either a bird in your future or a carrier pigeon of knowledge, experience and inevitable success!

To your inevitable success!

*no birds were harmed in the writing of this blog!

PS Please pass this along to someone you know who needs to build up their anti bird defenses! :)

Play #6 A New Year Worth Embracing?

Happy New Year! (a bursting of the bubble in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1)

It’s rather unfortunate, but our pessimism might be getting the best of us!

I’ve spoken to several people who are (and rightly so) concerned about the economy. I’ve spoken with others who fear the uncertainty of 2009 and my favorite . . . ones who are just glad 2008 is over!

You might be suffering from what psychiatrists call SNYS . . . Sucky New Year Syndrome!

Doesn’t exactly make ya want to go out and rip bumpers off of cars with excitement does it?

And yet, we are destined for the same sucky new year again if we don’t two fist the reigns and get some control!

Just out of curiosity; if you were to have an incredible, fulfilling, prosperous 2009, what would that look like? How would you look? How would you feel? How would you act? Are you standing up a bit taller? Are you a little prouder? Would you feel more accomplished? What kind of adjectives would you use to describe that year?

Last week, we took a depressing view of Covey’s Habit # 2 Beginning With The End In Mind to design how we want our stories to end. God willing there are several chapters between where we are today and where it ends. As a matter of fact, its time to write your next chapter.

It’s One Year From Today . . .

I want you to think about your life one year from today and answer the questions I posed earlier in this post. I want you think about this year as if it has already happened and you are telling us about it.

Once you get a clear picture of that year, finish the sentence below. The only rule is that you think of a word or phrase that really sets the tone of what you are about to tell us.

It’s one year from today and I feel _____________________________

Some ideas to get your wheels turning . . .

It’s one year from today and I feel unstoppable!
It’s one year from today and I feel accomplished!
It’s one year from today and I feel like I’m in the locker room at the super bowl . . . I made it!

Piece this all together and create a 30 second vision statement that tells us about your incredible 2009.

Here’s my vision statement for 2009:

It is one year from today and I feel energized and accomplished!

Having lost more than 50lbs, I can now tap into new energy resources. I look and feel great and it is fast forwarding my success across the board!

I have written the book (finally) and close to finalizing a deal with a publisher. My articles, blogs and podcasts continue to build my personal brand and I feel as though a new chapter in the Castain Success Story has truly begun!

The best part, is that this is only the beginning for me. Life is great and I awake each morning with a renewed passion.

I feel like a million bucks!

Damn, that felt good writing that! I would venture to say it’s a tad more motivating than:

It’s one year from today and I feel like crap. My 2009 sucked and I’m glad it’s over. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty confident that my 2010 will suck too, that’s why I complain and do nothing about it.

Hope you had a laugh, but that’s where our thoughts can go subconsciously if we don’t do a little reprogramming . . . NOW!

To make a long sermon longer, I turned to the logical place one should turn to for motivation when times are tough . . . An Adam Sandler movie!

There was a scene at the end of Mr. Deeds when Adam Sandler said something along the lines of (and I’m paraphrasing big time here) “Look at us now. I bet the 6th grade versions of ourselves would want to kick all of our assess right now for who we’ve become!”

It’s a funny line and yet so true. At one point, we aspired to be something different. Through a series of twists and turns to the plot (perhaps a groin kick or two) here we are today!

I’m happy to say that the 6th grade version of me (bad 70's haircut and all) wouldn’t want to kick my ass. I do think he might call me a “wuss” for defaulting to the safe things as many times as I have! Perhaps, like many of us, I need to be less "wuss-like" and take a few more chances in 2009. After all, Paul Castain is no 6th grader’s bitch!

So I would like to be the first to offer a unique toast to our new year. This toast requires the opening of a fresh can of whoop ass, a 6th graders belief and the tenacity to never stop trying until we have the year that we truly deserve!

To a 2009 full of health, happiness and prosperity!

Play #5 The Four Eulogies

As we prepare to embrace a shiny new year, with its new car smell and endless possibilities, its a great time to revisit our goals and create new ones that will give us a 2009 to be remembered!

Speaking of remembered, when all is said and done, how do you want to be remembered? How will the final words of your success story read?

When I reflect on those questions, I can't help but think of Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People, specifically habit #2 . . . Begin with the end in mind!

To help us begin with the necessary awareness, Covey offers an exercise that is going to bum the hell out you, but you need to do it. I promise you that if you take the time to reflect on how your journey ends, its much easier to secure a map to get there!

Here goes (have your tissues and Prozac handy)

It's a few years in the future and you are attending a funeral. The place is packed and there is a feeling of love, respect and warmth. After sitting there for a bit, you come to the realization that you are witnessing your own funeral. People have come from great distances to pay their respects to you.

Four people come forward to say a few words about you. Each one of them represents a different aspect of your life, the sum of which represents you as the total person. There is one person from your family, one of your friends, someone you work with and someone from either your church, favorite charity or community.

What would they need to say about you in order for you to feel that you have lived the life you deserved?

I did this exercise a few weeks ago and it really knocked me on my ass! I don't know if it was the reality check on my lack of invincibility or . . . the fact that I was failing in some of those areas! You see, I know what I want those eulogies to sound like, but truth be told, if that day came today, the eulogies might sound a bit different, be a bit shorter and the church, unfortunately a bit emptier!

So here's what I chose to do about it (after coming down from the ledge) :

• I chose to create a set of goals (a map) that would ultimately bring me to my final destination by beginning with the end in mind!
• I broke them up into the 4 groups: Family, Friends, Business and Spiritual/Community
• I took immediate action in every one of those areas

I now begin my day by looking at those goals to make sure I am living my life more intentionally. I make sure that I stay in control, avoid seat of my pants actions, winging it or anything that even resembles complacency!

Today's Reflection: As you set your New Year's Resolutions, begin with your end in mind and then create the map to get you to your destination. Anticipate roadblocks, traffic jams, miscalculations, detours etc along your way. Stay committed to your outcome, your destination and don't ever settle for a second rate life . . . upgrades are always there for the taking!

How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I'm committed to?
Tony Robbins

Wishing you and your family a happy and healthy new year with endless opportunities and possibilities!