Sales tips for the aspiring rock star!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Play #13 Does Your Can Of Whoop Ass Runneth Over?

Please Tweet This To Your Followers (just copy and paste the following into your Twitter bar): Does Your Can Of Whoop Ass Runneth Over?
Once upon a time; an experienced sales person was asked a question that has been asked throughout the ages . . . “Tell me about your company?”

The sales person offered the cup of Kool-Aid from which they had been drinking. It was a golden chalice that spewed boring details of equipment, technology, mission statements, salesy lines of bs and yada yada yada’s. (in my neck of the woods there may have been a bada bing bada bang sprinkled in too)

The prospect yawned and made a note to give a shit!

The sales person moved on to the next victim citing the ancient scripture which states that sales is a contact sport.

If this sounds even remotely familiar you need to change drinks . . . Muy Pronto!

It’s time to offer your audience a new drink . . .

The Breakfast of champions . . .

The Nectar of Rock Stars . . .

Your Can Of Whoop Ass!

To create a micro brewery of whoop ass one must understand the expertise required before mixing the ingredients.

You must know what businesses really want at the end of the day. I don’t care if they sell widgets or wallets, printing or pampers you must understand what businesses want. They want:

More sales, more profit, more market share, happy customers, happy shareholders, happy employees, greater productivity, better employee retention, quicker to market turn times, a better image, a streamlined process and the list goes on and on!

That’s the good stuff! At the same time, there are things that piss them off like you wouldn’t believe! From a buyer’s perspective, what would get under your skin, keep you up at night, get your proverbial panties in a bunch? Things to consider:

Deadlines, internal customers, doing more with less resources, quality, poor communication, managing multiple vendors and dare I say (forgive me) sales people.

The last step requires an understanding of how your company addresses those things and packaging your message in a way that unleashes the whoop ass! In order to do that, your first sentence has pack an intense punch, a tag line, a tone setter, a sip from the whoop ass can that makes them crave a lengthy swig!

Examples of wielders of the whoop ass:

Matt Rees from Tucker Printers in NY doesn’t tell people he’s a printer. He tells them he creates fireworks for his clients. Give me that can of whoop ass Matt you are making me thirsty!

Kyle Richardson from Bridgetown Printers tells people he’s a magician who can make his customer’s problems disappear!
Note to Kyle: Magicians scare the shit out of me. They are mysterious and have unusual goatees, but you piqued my interest . . . pass the can amigo!

Google: “Google provides access to the world’s information in one click”
Cisco: “Cisco changes the way we live, work, play and learn”
My Wife: “Breaks balls relentlessly, effortlessly and in one fell swoop” (My blog hon. I wear the Daddy pants here)
Editor's Note: Boy, did I catch some shit for that remark and as such I should be allowed one do over!
My Wife: "Understanding, supportive with milf like abilities to remove Paul's whoop ass when he crosses the line in his blog" Can I come out of the Dog House now?

Action: Part 1

Start cranking up your whoop ass brewery by giving thought to these words by Tom Peters (who holds the keg to my mere can)

If you are going to be a brand, you’ve got to become relentlessly focused on what you do that adds value, that you are proud of, and most important, that you can shamelessly take credit for!

Amen Tom! We need to be deliberate and intentional about how we describe what we do.

Action: Part Dos

Get off your ass and try this concept on for size. Try it out on a friend, leave a message for yourself on your voicemail, go to a networking event. The only way to get good at this stuff is go for it!

From this day forth, we must aspire to become Master Brewers of The Whoop Ass!

May your can runneth over!

Please help me to spread the Castain brand of whoop ass by signing up as a follower and passing this along to anyone you know he needs a little whoop ass this week!


  1. good blog !!!
    how r u my friend
    peace lover from Indonesia
    good future for friendship all over the world
    invite my blog and plz give ur comment

  2. Let me're afraid of clown too, huh??

  3. Love this blog! I know from experience how motivational your training can be, but I'm pumped up after reading your blogs and ready to open up a can right now!


  4. One other flavor of whoop ass to consider...the story. If you can weave a narrative it will capture interst and cut through the noise of other vendor static.


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Paul Castain is the Vice President of Sales Development for Consolidated Graphics (CGX) one of North America’s leading general commercial printing companies. Paul has over 25 years of sales and sales leadership experience. He has trained, mentored and coached over 3,000 sales and sales leadership professionals. An accomplished public speaker, Paul has delivered numerous key note addresses. He has authored numerous training manuals, articles, blog posts and is currently working on his first book for release in 2011. Feel free to email Paul This has been a paid announcement by the friends of Paul Castain!

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Paul Castain's Sales Play Book is blog dedicated to strengthening our sales game, supporting rock star development and developing jedi like skills. All that is required is a willingness to learn and a sick sense of humor!

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